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Finding out I was expecting...
I had no intention getting pregnant. But on January 22, 2007, I found out that I was going to be a mother while sitting in the ER after having a severe case of an Upper Respitory Viral Infection (URI). It was almost a month before my 19th birthday. My boyfriend was 11 years older than me and I was afraid to tell him we were expecting a child. I told him a few days after finding out...
As expected, Bill, the father of my little girl, left me at two months along and wanted nothing to do with me or my baby. He left me to be evicted from his home and I soon I was living in a small place overrun by roaches and living day by day wondering how I was going to eat. I couldn't even see a doctor because the town I was in didn't accept my insurance and Medicaid kept giving me the run-around. My dad ended up coming to Texas and taking me back to Alabama with him when I was four months along.
In Alabama, I was able to get to a doctor and get on Medicaid and properly take care of myself and Kyra. I signed up for Best Start classes and was able to go back to work. My daughter was the first grandchild for my parents. Kyra was so loved and spoiled before we ever saw her.
Month after month, we bought baby stuff, had a baby shower, took pregnant belly photos, had a 4-d ultrasound done, and eagerly anticipated my daughter's arrival. Every doctor visit went great. Kyra was healthy and looked fine. Her heartbeat was strong. Her being a tiny baby never concerned us since the girls in my family were all born small. How was I supposed to know? How was my family supposed to know?
Kyra's birth to her death...
My doctor told me she was going to have me induced a couple of days after my last visit. I was so excited. My baby was coming! I was to go the hospital on October 2nd at 8 PM for the induction.
The night finally came when I had my stuff packed for my trip to Crestwood Hospital. My doctor wanted me to go through overnight induction because I wasn’t even dilated yet. It was going to be a long night. I was so excited and everything that the nurse had to give me Ambien to sleep. Through the night, Kyra was having minor complications. Her heart rate was getting real high and then dropping.
The next morning, my doctor came in to break my water. However, I was only dilated to 1 cm so she couldn’t do it. I was given another inducing pill and taken off the Mitosin drip. After some time, I started to really feel the contractions. I was given Valium mixed with another pain medicine in my IV. I took a nap and woke up to sever pain. My contractions were doubling very quickly were very close together. I was now at 3 cm.
Kyra was also now having bigger problems, too. She was stressed out from the contractions. Her heart rate kept dropping more and more during contractions. I went from an induction to an emergency c-section. Things went real fast and real slow at the same time then.
In the OR, I was given a spinal and prepped for surgery. As I laid there, my mind was everywhere at once. I was so exhausted from the overload. Then my doctor said that Kyra was here. My stepmom stood up and took pictures and my daughter. But I couldn’t hear her crying. I heard silence. My heart was about to drop out of my chest and then I heard her. A very tiny, faint cry, like a small kitten. I could barely hear it. Dr. Dworsky showed me my daughter for a few seconds then and rushed away with her. Minutes later, he returned to tell me my baby girl was going to have to be transported another hospital.
After being stitched up and everything, I was placed in a room for an hour before I could go to my recovery room. They brought my daughter to me in an incubator box. I wanted to cry. I was supposed to be able to hold her in my arms. But I could only stroke her cheek and arm through a hole in the box. Then they took her away…
I didn’t understand. It wasn’t until the morning after that I had my dad and stepmom explain it to me what was going on and what Trisomy 18 was. I was torn to pieces. I wasn’t ready to lose my little girl. I waited so long for her and now she was going to be taken from me.
The morning of October 5, 2007, I was discharged from Crestwood Hospital. I didn’t bother picking up my pain medications first before going to see Kyra at Huntsville Hospital’s NICU. I had to see her.
She was so beautiful, so small. I couldn’t breathe from trying so hard not to cry. She was on a ventilator and had tubes in her mouth and belly button. She had wires attached to her. I still wasn’t allowed to hold her. For 2 ? days, Kyra hung in there and seemed to be doing a lot better than the doctor’s thought she would. The morning of October 7, 2007, my worst fear came true.
I went to go see my daughter that morning. They had knocked her oxygen up from 21 to 54. By the time I left it was over 60. I was expecting test results that day as well about the Trisomy 18. I never got them…
When I got the phone call from the NICU, I wasn’t expecting to hear that Kyra had taken a turn for the worse and that I needed to get there as quick as I could. The ride to the hospital seemed to take forever and in my heart I knew what was going to happen.
When I got there, they were trying to get oxygen into Kyra to keep her breathing. The doctor quickly explained what was happening and told me my options. Kyra had lost the majority of her body’s blood supply. I could have them do a blood transfusion to temporarily stabilize her for a short time or I could take away her pain and let her go. No mother should have to make that decision. But I had to that day.
I loved my little girl so much. I love her so much now. I couldn’t stand to see her hurt so I could keep her there with me. I held her in my arms for the first and last time as she fought to breathe. She died in my arms…
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