We found out at 32 weeks pregnant that’s something was wrong, possible Down syndrome I was told. But two weeks later we learned our daughter’s fate. Our unborn daughter had Trisomy 18 and would probably die very young. Doctors told me to abort, but I couldn’t. I knew I had to push through, meet our daughter and Say Goodbye. With a lot of sadness, we set the perfect date for her to come into this world. March 27th, 2016 Hanna was born. She was the most beautiful baby girl I’ve ever seen. She lived 6 days on palliative care. I couldn’t stand the thought of not having my baby girl with me. Having her hooked up, facing heart surgery and so much more that she would have to undergo. We chose to love her, never once was laying her down or leaving her alone from her first day to her last. As she passed I held her in my arms and felt her little heart stop. A memory I will never forget.
A year has passed and her birthday came. We decided to honor her by donating preemie clothes to local hospitals. Having our family donate where they live in her name. We are not a family with money but we know how hard it can be to have nothing and everything taken from you. We know how hard it can be to find and even pay for preemie stuff, everything’s so expensive.
My husband and I have been grieving since the day we found out her faith. Both in very different ways. My husband tries not to think about it but you can still see his pain. At first, I was told how strong I was but now I’m not so sure, I’ve been falling apart on the inside and the outside. Lashing out at my loved ones in anger of what was taken. Recently I started a Blog and started seeing a counselor. Trying to keep myself busy seems to be the only thing that helps.
3/27/16 to 4/2/16
Hanna Renee Hammond